People come to Mumbai to find jobs, love, or themselves.
I found a horse, a bride, and 300 strangers who thought I was ready to tie the knot.
Let’s start from the beginning — or as my mother now calls it, “the day shame entered our bloodline.”
Chapter 1: Welcome to Groom-Hunt 2025
I, Pranav Deshmukh, freshly unemployed and always underfed, arrived at Mumbai’s Dadar station with a backpack full of resume printouts and half a packet of Parle-G biscuits.
Suddenly, a man in a glittery orange sherwani, looking like a traffic cone at a Diwali party, grabbed me and shouted,
“Found him! The groom has ARRIVED!”
Before I could utter “Excuse me?”, two women threw marigold garlands around my neck like I’d just won Kaun Banega Crorepati.
“Wait—I’m here for a job interview!”
“Shut up, beta, don’t be nervous! Everyone is nervous before marriage.”
I was nervous because I was being kidnapped. By caterers. In sequins.
Chapter 2: The Baraat of Doom
Ten minutes later, I was riding a horse named Pintu, who was clearly more anxious than me. The DJ was playing “Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai”, and people were dancing around me like they were paid in rasgullas.
Some guy was live-streaming my “entry” on Facebook. Comments included:
- “So handsome!”
- “Bride is lucky!”
- “Kuch zyada hi nervous lag raha hai dulha 😂”
And then, the shaadi tent appeared — glowing like a Bollywood spaceship.
I screamed, “I am not the groom!”
Someone threw rose petals at me and said, “That’s the spirit!”
As garlands fly and the DJ blares, Pranav is paraded through Mumbai like a dulha — without even knowing the bride.
This isn’t just a job hunt gone wrong — it’s a baraat he never applied for.
Chapter 3: Meet the Bride… Who Raised Me
And then she appeared.
Red lehenga. Golden bangles. Eyeliner so sharp it could cut onions.
It was none other than… Vandana Maushi. My mom’s cousin. The woman who once changed my diapers.
“Pranav,” she said, blushing, “I always knew we’d end up together.”
WHAAAT?!
“Remember when you were 4 and you said you’d marry me?”
“That was because you gave me a biscuit!”
He came for a job. He got a baraat.
Now he’s about to get a bride… who raised him on biscuits.
Chapter 4: Dulhan Ka Twist
Panicking, I whispered to the manager, “Sir. This is a mistake. I’m not this Pranav. I’m the jobless Pranav.”
He squinted. “Name?”
“Pranav D.”
“From Satara?”
“Yes.”
“Exactly. You’re perfect. Now smile and hold this coconut.”
Chapter 5: Escape Plan Chyawanprash
I had to escape. Fast.
Plan A: Fake a heart attack. Failed. An uncle gave me Zandu Balm and made me do breathing exercises.
Plan B: Claim I was allergic to weddings. Failed. Aunty offered sugar-free haldi doodh.
Plan C? I ran.
Straight through the buffet, tripping on a paneer tikka tray, landing face-first into a chocolate fountain.
A 5-year-old clapped and said, “Best wedding EVER!”
Chapter 6: Bollywood Debut (Unwilling)
I escaped the wedding and ran smack into a film crew shooting a serial called “Saas Ka Revenge 2.0.”
They assumed I was the hero and handed me a script.
I said, “I just escaped my wedding.”
Director: “Brilliant! Method acting! You’re hired!”
Suddenly, I was acting in a scene where my fake mom slapped me for loving my real cousin who was also a ghost.
TRP: 10/10
Chapter 7: Pranav v/s Pranav
Back at the wedding tent, the real groom finally arrived.
Same name. Same hometown. Except he had dimples and Bluetooth earbuds.
“You almost married Maushi?” he laughed.
I replied, “You almost ruined my bloodline!”
He said, “Don’t worry, bro. I didn’t want to marry her anyway. I’m in love with a barista from Bandra.”
I facepalmed so hard I gave myself a headache.
Chapter 8: Mummy Ka Meltdown
Back home, my mom was waiting with her famous rolling pin.
“You went to Mumbai for a job and almost got married to your aunt?”
“It was a misunderstanding!”
She picked up the Agarbatti stand. “Do you even know what this family has suffered? We had to CANCEL the Satyanarayan Pooja!”
I offered her the leftover gulab jamun I smuggled out of the wedding.
She threw it at me.
Nothing hits harder than a desi mom with a rolling pin and leftover gulab jamun.
Chapter 9: Maushi Returns
Two weeks later, I got a voice note from Vandana Maushi:
“Pranav beta, no hard feelings. I’ve found someone else. He’s a little older. Just 77. Also from Satara. Also named Pranav.”
I replied:
“Blocked.”
Chapter 10: Fame, Food & Fortune
The accidental wedding video went viral.
BuzzFeed featured me: “Groom Who Said ‘No’ And Still Got Cake”
I got 10 brand offers:
- One from a haldi powder
- One from a matrimony app — ironically.
- And one from an underwear brand that said, “Support that runs, but never slips.”
Netflix called.
My story is now in development as “Shaadi Se Bhaaga Engineer.” Coming soon.
📲 From viral articles to bizarre brand deals — the runaway groom became India’s favorite clickbait.
✅ Moral of the Story:
If someone in a sherwani calls you “beta,” run.
And never, ever trust a horse named Pintu.
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Very interesting